A Letter to My Fellow White Homeschool Moms

The vast majority of homeschoolers are white women, this means there’s a good chance that you, my current reader, are a white woman. This article is not about silencing you, but about encouraging mindfulness and intentionality in our words and actions.

Since we occupy the majority, our voices carry a lot of weight within the homeschool community. The incidental consequence of this is that we overshadow other voices. Voices that need to be heard. Voices of people who have lived experiences we can’t even imagine.

The Problem of Overrepresentation

In most large homeschool groups, you’ll see the same book lists and curriculum recommendations come up over and over again. Most often these are created by white, Christian, middle-class women, because that’s who dominates the conversation. That doesn’t mean their work has no value, but it does mean other perspectives get pushed to the margins.

When only the majority group’s experiences are centered, marginalized families look around and don’t see themselves represented in the recommendations and discussions. That lack of representation signals, intentionally or not, that their voices and needs aren’t valued.

Representation matters because it tells families, “You belong here, too.” When homeschool spaces prioritize marginalized perspectives, it creates communities where all families grow up seeing their stories and identities affirmed. So what do we do when we realize our voices are taking up too much space?

Take a Breath

When someone tells you something you did or said was harmful, your first instinct might be to get defensive. That’s a human response, it feels uncomfortable to be challenged. But it’s important to remember that a critique isn’t a condemnation. Someone pointing out harm doesn’t mean you’re a “bad person” or that your whole character is being judged. It means there’s an opportunity to learn, repair, and do better next time.

Defensiveness shuts that process down. If your response is, “Well, I didn’t mean it that way!” or “You’re just being too sensitive,” you’ve shifted the focus back to your own feelings instead of the harm done. Take a breath and give yourself space to pause, listen, and resist that knee-jerk reaction. Instead of making things worse, you can move toward repair and growth, for both yourself and for the community around you.

How to React if You Are Called Out

Pause before responding. Take time between your emotional reaction and your public reaction. It’s normal to take things personally, but realize it’s not about you. It’s about creating a safe space for everyone.

Acknowledge the harm, not just your intentions. Even if you didn’t mean to cause harm, you still did. Acknowledge what happened without making excuses.

Learn and adjust moving forward. If you’re unsure of something, make sure to ask questions and do some research. No one is expected to know everything, but you are expected to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person.

Listen to the voices with first hand experiences, without expecting emotional labor from them. It’s not a Black person’s job to tell you how to not be racist. It’s not a disabled person’s job to explain ableism. Do your research. Educate yourself. Asking questions is fine, but know that you are the one who needs to do the work.

Believe people. If someone says that something you said, did, or shared makes them uncomfortable or is ableist/sexist/racist believe them and don’t think they’re personally attacking you.

Decenter yourself from the conversation. It’s not about you, it’s about making our world a better, safer place for everyone

Simplified, Practical Steps for Allyship

• Listen more than you speak.
• Seek out and share resources created by marginalized homeschoolers and creators.
• Ask questions, but do your own research. Don’t demand free labor from those already burdened.
• Believe people’s lived experiences.
• Practice decentering: it’s not about your comfort, it’s about equity.

The Bigger Picture

When white women homeschoolers step back, it doesn’t mean our voices disappear, it means more space opens up for others to lead. That shift makes a difference. Instead of hearing the same recommendations and perspectives repeated over and over, families gain access to a richer pool of wisdom, resources, and lived experiences.

An inclusive homeschool community doesn’t only serve marginalized families, it strengthens education for all kids. When children learn from a wider range of voices, they gain a more accurate understanding of history, science, literature, and the world around them. They also learn empathy and respect; qualities that go far beyond academics.

As the majority group in homeschooling spaces, we have a responsibility. Our numbers give us influence, whether we intend it or not. We can use that influence to keep the spotlight on ourselves, or we can use it to amplify voices that too often go unheard.

Conclusion

This is an invitation, not a condemnation. The call is simple: be mindful, reflective, and intentional about how you show up in homeschool spaces.

At the end of the day, homeschooling isn’t only about raising our own children. It’s about creating a learning world where every child feels seen, respected, and safe. When we model inclusivity, our children carry those lessons into the wider world.

This work isn’t about guilt, it’s about growth. It’s about recognizing that we can always do better, and that doing better benefits everyone. By stepping back when needed, listening more deeply, and choosing to amplify marginalized voices, we make our communities stronger, kinder, and more truthful.

Let’s use our influence to build a homeschool community where every family knows they belong.