The Why and How of Us: An Inclusive Sex Ed Guide for Caregivers

When your toddler asks, “Where do babies come from?” or your 7-year-old asks why their friend has two moms, it’s normal to feel unsure how to respond. Many of us didn’t grow up with healthy models of sex education, and the idea of having “the talk” can bring up awkwardness, fear, or uncertainty.

Here’s the truth: one big talk isn’t enough. Kids need ongoing, age-appropriate, and inclusive conversations that evolve as they grow. That’s why I’ve created this series—to support parents and caregivers in raising confident, informed, and safe young people.

What Is Inclusive Sex Education?

Inclusive sex education is more than learning how babies are made. It’s a lifelong process of understanding bodies, relationships, consent, identity, and communication. It empowers children to make informed decisions, respect themselves and others, and understand their own values.

Inclusive sex ed means acknowledging and affirming all identities: LGBTQIA+ kids, neurodivergent kids, disabled kids, kids from different cultural or religious backgrounds, kids in foster care or raised by grandparents, and more. It also means using language and resources that reflect the diversity of the world—so no child feels erased or “othered.”

Start Early, Stay Ahead

Children are already learning about their bodies, boundaries, and relationships from a very young age. Delaying these conversations leaves gaps that children may fill with messages from media, peers, or silence. Starting early focuses on basics: naming body parts accurately, understanding privacy, practicing how to say “no,” and respecting others’ boundaries.

Starting early helps:

• Build body autonomy and self-esteem
• Prevent abuse and empower children to speak up
• Normalize diversity and reduce shame
• Lay the groundwork for healthy relationships throughout life

It’s not about teaching everything at once—it’s about teaching the right things at the right time.

The Harm of Incomplete or Biased Sex Ed

When sex education is shrouded in shame, fear, or narrow assumptions, it fails children. Programs that use gender-binary language, heteronormative assumptions, or abstinence-only messaging can lead to:

• Increased risk of harm or abuse
• Poor mental health outcomes
• Misunderstanding boundaries, consent, and communication
• Exclusion of LGBTQ+ youth, who may feel isolated or erased

Inclusive sex ed is a form of harm reduction—and a powerful tool for justice, safety, and belonging.

What This Series Will Cover

This article is just the beginning. In the coming weeks, this series will offer practical guidance for different age groups, including book recommendations and conversation tips.

Early Childhood (ages 2–6) – Already Published!

• Body parts and body autonomy
• Consent and safe/unsafe touch
• Gender identity and expression
• Feelings, families, and diversity in relationships

Elementary (ages 6–10)

• Respect, empathy, and communication
• Boundaries and peer relationships
• Reproductive anatomy and curiosity about bodies
• Gender, pronouns, and identity development
• Early puberty and emotional regulation

Tweens (ages 10–13)

• Puberty changes and emotional regulation
• Expanding concepts of identity and attraction
• Healthy friendships and early relationships
• Digital safety and media literacy

Teens (ages 13+)

• Sexual health, contraception, and STI prevention
• Consent, power dynamics, and healthy relationships
• Online behavior and boundaries
• Supporting LGBTQ+ and questioning teens

A Call to Keep the Conversation Going

You don’t need to be an expert to teach your child about their body, boundaries, or identity. You just need to be open, honest, and willing to learn together. Inclusive sex education isn’t a one-time talk—it’s a lifelong relationship built on trust.

Follow along as we explore each age group, share inclusive tools, and create a world where every child feels safe in their skin and confident in their choices.

Quick Resources to Explore

• Sex Positive Families – Provides guides, webinars, and practical tools to help parents talk about bodies, boundaries, consent, and relationships with young children in an affirming, age-appropriate way.
• Amaze Junior for Parents – Delivers clear, evidence-based information directly to parents about how to discuss topics like reproduction, puberty, consent, and gender identity with young kids. Includes videos, articles, and tips for answering questions.
• Queer Kid Stuff – A YouTube channel designed for young children (ages 3–7) that introduces gender, LGBTQ+ identities, and consent in an accessible and affirming way. Short videos provide simple explanations and conversation starters for families. Videos for kids that also act as conversation starters for parents.
• Planned Parenthood – Offers age-appropriate guides, lesson plans, and parent resources for talking to kids about bodies, puberty, consent, and healthy relationships. Provides accurate, inclusive information for families at every stage.
• Our Whole Lives (OWL) – A comprehensive, evidence-based sexuality education program for children, teens, and adults. Offers age-appropriate lessons on bodies, relationships, consent, and identity, with an emphasis on inclusivity, respect, and healthy communication. Secular resource, but it is created by the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ.